Awaiting trade revival to gain a mercantile ascendancy...

Here is the million dollar question that was posed to me yet again...and this time, by someone other than myself..."are you happy in America"....

oof...how much time you got?

I have lost track of the trade-offs I am making...
Is it between India and the U.S...or does it transcend to friends and career...or maybe even one slice of the family vs. the other.

But am I happy here?

Hey....I have been blessed by a sister, a brother-in-law, and two (LOUD :) bundles of joy, to start with...add to that a handful of, but good friends....and....Porus....the promise of a new future. I have all this and so much more...I have a bed to sleep on, I have a car to drive, all my limbs are intact, I am not overweight, I am a good person, I know how to care, I have been given a brain that functions (i know people out there itching to comment on this one ;-), I get to smile and laugh, I am loved....simple things...all granted to me without asking...but things I might be all ready to complain about if missing....and then, there is my mother, my family, and some closer....but this is not about U.S., this is my people, my life, my 'God'!

with so much at hand...do I still question "trade-offs"? Am I really losing anything? Am I being skeptical, greedy or pessimistic by asking if I am gaining anything, either? (does this make me a smaller person?)

I guess I know what I have finally lost in the last 8 years....a sense of belonging....a feeling of fulfillment....the confidence of being someone, doing something....making a difference...

....I feel I have lost my identity somewhere along the way....
...and this is no longer pledged by mere geographical boundaries...but something greater has eclipsed my very being....

the question of linking 'happiness' with Amrika balances on a capricious needle....