Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Bosky
(4th Januray 1992 to 15th December 2006)

Bosky and Sherry...my surprise b'day gifts...my most memorable b'day gifts...
Bosky and Sherry...
shy and bold
cautious and confident
quiet and loud
docile and hot tempered
loving and loved.
15 and 2?

These sisters came into the lives of the Dixit sisters in midst of emotional clamor...the loud shatter when the hearts broke, the silence when the tears flowed, the continuous noise from the war in the minds, the commotion in search of a life and peace. And then, suddenly, we heard the barks...and we stopped to smile a little.


Sherry became an instant favorite with my sister, maybe the outgoing, confident personality resonated with her own. Ironically, it was this "no one messes with me" attitude that finally took Sherry's life...when she was put to sleep when a street dog bit her. I never really got to know her. I will always regret that. Sherry, you are still missed.

It was Bosky who found me. She was quiet, as was I, and we learnt to use that silence to speak with each other. I recall hours at end when she sat with me watching me fight my battles, patiently waiting for the silence to return, so we could talk again. I looked forward to those moments. Somehow, I found some peace in those moments. Bosky was my confidant and a source of comfort. She was the silent listener, a sounding board. A guardian of some sort? I wonder why she never got bored sitting with me...after all, we just used to stare into nothingness :)...maybe she understood. Do they have that sense? I think Bosky did. Maybe she missed her sister and could share some sense of loneliness with me. Or maybe, she just loved me...unconditionally.

Maybe I could have learnt something from her. She had lost so much too...her sister, her eyesight, even us....I have never seen her complain.

She represents a season in my life....a time long gone but not forgottten.

Bosky...
...here's to the first time I held you (a little white ball of smiles)
...to the many walks we took
...to your haircuts (you should sue mom for that :)
...to the mornings you would wake me up with your bark
...to the afternoons of silence

...to the nights you would cuddle up under my quilt
...to Sherry, your sister

...to Benzi and Roly-Poly
...to that adorable face
...to being the one constant unshakable support throughout

...to the 15 years
...to the memories you represent, the peace in my chaos

...to closing yet another chapter
...to you...

I will miss you.

Till memory fades, and life departs
You will always remain in my heart.

Goodnight, Bosky. Sleep well, my darling.


My dearest...
...at the end, when there are just you and me left...
I hope we are able to look back and appreciate our years
together.
I hope we are able to look ahead and face our fears
together.









Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Two ends...

Why do we, as humans (or is it just me) swing from end to end and dont bother to stop in the middle...tactically speaking...why do we tend to go from knowledge ("hey, I didn't know that") to despair ("oh no, now what are we going to do")....why do we forget that simple step in the middle- Action ("let me see what I can do about that")

Or is it almost always "too late" by the time we finally get this information I am talking about...can nothing really be done about it then? Do we tend to take our time acknowledging something that has been there all along, till "doom" is upon us and there really is nothing else to do but despair?

Then again...even with 'doom' lingering around the corner, is it ever really that late to 'try'?

And so, once again, I stand between the two ends...knowledge and despair/emotional reaction; action and resignation/acceptance.

Friday, December 08, 2006


Co-exist

Beginnings... fear -- excitement
Time... stop -- go
Love... pain -- joy
Life... resign -- fight
Soul... lifeless -- alive
Hope... departing -- arriving
Death... end -- beginning
...Beginnings... fear -- excitement.... ??

... trying to fit in PEACE ....